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The Friend Zone by Abby Jimenez

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

dates read: 9/28/2024 - 10/4/2024

Reading Updates: 

September 28, 2024 – 30% in: started this as an easily digestible audiobook to listen to while exercising instead putting chappell roan on repeat for 3 hours. my only criteria was:-i want them to kiss but i do not want to listen to them fuck nasty whilst walking across a busy intersection making eye contact with kids on a school bus
-as i previously said, easily digestible.

September 30, 2024 – 61% in: i started this audiobook for something easily digestible with minimal smut. again, i want them to kiss but i do not want to listen to them fuck nasty whilst walking across a busy intersection making eye contact with kids on a school bus. at 30% this audio was successful at that. NOT ANYMORE IM SO DEVASTATED THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT BULL COCKS AND WET PUSSIES WHILE I WAS WALKING PAST CITY WORKERS 😭

Review:

When I opened my local library's audiobook service and searched for "young adult romance," to exercise to, I was expecting a couple of things from the blue cartoon cover:
-Minimal smut and
-Generally a PG-13 audio experience whilst I'm walking past elementary schoolers walking home from school.

If you have read this book, you would know that this is NOTTTTTTTTTTTT the case. Maybe that's my fault for assuming that a cartoon cover in the young adult romance section of the library would be safe for work. But I'm not taking accountability for this.

Also this book was just fucking stupid. Spoilers below.

[ The entire book the main character bitches and moans how she can't be with this man because she's infertile and he wants kids but at the big age of midtwenties you should be able to communicate why you don't want to be with another individual instead of leading him on for two months because he's your best friend's fiance's best man. Like get over yourself, I don't know.

Then the goofiest shit on the planet happens: The best friend's fiance dies in a car accident and the two main characters get married not even like two weeks later if I understood correctly. In what world would that ever happen???????

Then we end the book with the main character getting pregnant :| AFTER BITCHING AND MOANING FOR FUCKING EVER ABOUT BEING INFERTILE. (hide spoiler)]he entire book the main character bitches and moans how she can't be with this man because she's infertile and he wants kids but at the big age of midtwenties you should be able to communicate why you don't want to be with another individual instead of leading him on for two months because he's your best friend's fiance's best man. Like get over yourself, I don't know.

Then the goofiest shit on the planet happens: The best friend's fiance dies in a car accident and the two main characters get married not even like two weeks later if I understood correctly. In what world would that ever happen???????

Then we end the book with the main character getting pregnant :| AFTER BITCHING AND MOANING FOR FUCKING EVER ABOUT BEING INFERTILE

Overall. Did not like. Annoyed. Abby Jimenez and Hoopla Digital, count your days.



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Justine, or The Misfortunes of Virtue by Marquis de Sade

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

dates read: 2/19/2024 - 3/25/2024

trigger warnings: Rape, sexual assault, beatings, incest, pedophilia, torture, child abuse, homophobia AND MORE!

When this book was billed to me as "17th Century French Erotica," I expected wattpad or indie romance, not rape after rape after rape and torture after torture after torture. But maybe I should have listened more to the 17th century portion.

While this book was truly awful in every aspect known to man, it was compulsive. I needed to know how much more stupid she was going to be. For instance, why did she meet up with her first rapist? What did she think was going to happen? Was this a good read? No. Did I have fun? No.

This book made me feel how early 2000s, middle aged, neck-bearded fantasy elitists felt about Twilight: How could she be so dumb?

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